One of the many joys of travel is collecting mementos from all the amazing places you’ve been to, to remember them by. And yet, there are so many dire souvenirs being hawked on every corner – tacky trinkets from tourist traps that incur near-instant regret. Even those with normally good taste aren’t immune to the lure of the worst souvenirs you can buy around the world. Don’t fall for it! Just steer clear of anything on this list and you’re golden.
UK
Stonehenge Snowglobe
Photo by Dark Dwarf
What’s better than Stonehenge? Stonehenge in miniature version with lashings of glitter and cute cuddly animals. Glad you asked.
Royal Family Face Masks
Photo by Amazon
Fascination with royals can go beyond creepy, like in case of these face masks.
Royal condoms
Photo by Crown Jewels
But wait, there’s more! Hello, crown jewels. Lie back and think of England, indeed.
Tube Map Undies
Photo by TFL
Underground,it might be the oldest subterranean system in the world and an incredible feat in engineering, however this is taking it a little bit far. Of all the places to carry around a map, this doesn’t seem the most practical, either.
USA
Canned Fog – California
Photo by Fogtastic
Fog, after all, is San Francisco’s defining characteristic. If you’ve got room in your luggage for what amounts to a can of air, I salute you.
Lobster Hat – Massachusetts
Photo by Joshua Ganderson
Tasty as they are, lobster rolls don’t keep all that long. Red lobster hats, on the other hand…
Niagara Falls Water
Photo by Paull Young
Not just any old H20! Nope, this is water that’s miraculously survived a plunge over the falls.
Turd Burds
Photo by Cactus Records and Gifts
They rose to fame in the 70s and still have a bit of kitschy je ne sais quoi about them. Who would ever have guessed that a bit of dung, pipe cleaner and googly eyes might capture travellers’ hearts like this?
ASIA
Poop Accessories – Japan
Photo by Strapya World
Fancy one of these trinkets for your cell phone? They’re a charm for good fortune and come in a bewildering array of versions in terms of size and style. But it’s hard to look past the golden turds in an actual toilet bowl.
Wooden Phalluses – Bali
Photo by Remon Rijper
These oddities are found almost everywhere – some with practical appendages, some just purely decorative carvings. Traditionally, they’re also considered a good luck symbol.
Sky Tree sunglasses – Japan
Photo by youkaine
This leaves only one question: Why?
EUROPE
Eiffel Cower – France
Photo by Lisa
Thought those ubiquitous miniature Eiffel Towers were silly? You haven’t seen the Eiffel Cower – a totally bizarre bovine doodad.
Clinton Nesting Dolls – Russia
Photo by The Russian Store
He’ll never live it down, will he? This set of Russian nesting dolls houses Clinton’s conquests, immortalised forever.
Dracula mugs – Transylvania
Photo by american_rugbier
Fancy sipping your morning coffee from a vampirical mug? Didn’t think so.
Michelangelo David shorts – Italy
Photo by David Shorts
Michelangelo is probably turning in his grave right now. Cringe.
AUSTRALIA
Stuffed Cane Toad
Photo by John Skewes
The pride and joy of the sunshine state? As souvenirs go, stuffed amphibians aren’t usually at the top of anyone’s list.
Kangaroo Scrotum
Photo by Mark Ehr
Finally, keeping it classy… Yep, you can pick up a kangaroo scrotum pouch, or perhaps even one with a bottle opener attached.
